Of Detentions And Piercings
by JustMeReally
Summary: Just a random oneshot I thought up...


"So was that a yes?" Karen checked, hopping onto a stool at the breakfast bar as she watched her Dad cook dinner.

"No you cannot invite your R.E teacher to dinner in an attempt to get you out of detention" he confirmed, pouring oil into a pan as Sue wandered in.

"Honestly Karen you only started secondary school on Monday and you're already in trouble" the woman sighed dumping her car keys on the table "It's worse than Bens record!"

The curly haired boy sitting silently in the corner of the kitchen with some headphones in smirked, before returning to his funny Youtube videos.

"Will Jake be joining us for dinner then?" Pete questioned almost sarcastically as his wife removed her coat.

Sue shrugged, draping the jacket over the nearest chair, taking a seat gratefully.  
"He's still out"

"So I gathered" Pete returned dryly, slamming the fridge shut.

Ben crossed the room by sliding across the floor on his socks.  
"Why have you got a detention?" he asked in curiosity and in awe.

Karen rolled her eyes, picking at the slivers of silver nail polish coating her fingers.  
"Mr Wainwright tried to tell me about God" she sighed with a shake of her head "I tried to tell him he couldn't choose my beliefs and he accused me of backchat"

Sue rubbed her forehead as if in pain, while Ben taking an interest hopped up on the stool beside his sister.

"He told me that he was the position of authority in the classroom and that I should be quiet. So I asked him what the point of R.E was if we weren't allowed to debate our beliefs...Then he accused me of backchat again, so I called him a Jesus Loving Tosspiece" Karen finished almost triumphantly.

"Karen!" Sue cried

"What?"

"Forgot that little detail earlier did you?" Pete asked with a frown, pausing at the sound of the front door opening. "Is that you Jake?" he called out.

"Yeah" came the reply, followed by hurried footsteps upstairs.

"He's gone straight to his room" Sue murmured, lifting her head slightly.

"Thanks for that Miss Marple" Pete drawled, tipping his glass of wine down his neck as Pete got to her feet.

"Maybe I should check on him" Sue muttered to herself, rushing from the room.

"Jake won't like that" Ben said with a whistle, sliding off his stool to return to the computer.

Sure enough shouting soon ensued through the ceiling.

"What the bloody hell is that?!"

Rolling his eyes, Pete turned down the oven and took off towards the stairs but not before Ben had sped past, eager to see what his elder brother had done now.

"It looks hideous" Sue cried, watching her son inspect himself in the mirror.

"It's only a piercing" Jake sighed, examining his ear "And I think it looks cool"

"What looks cool?" Pete asked entering the room whilst trying to block Ben from doing the same.

"Our son has pierced his ear" Sue told him "Apparently it's cool"

"I didn't pierce it myself" Jake told them in a 'duh' tone "I had it done at a tattoo studio in town. I don't see what the problem is? Karen has her ears pierced!"

"He's right you know" the girl told her parents from the doorway beside Ben "And to say otherwise could be seen as sexism" she finished matter of factly.

Jake nodded in approval, shooting a smile to his little sister.

"You look like Pat Butcher gone wrong" Pete informed his son sternly

"Isn't that the ear you get pierced to show that you're gay?" Ben asked with a smirk, almost eagerly.

"Shut it you!" Jake snapped, blushing slightly.

Sue leant forward and narrowed her eyes  
"What's all that gunk around the stud?" she wondered

"What gunk?" Jake panicked, his hand instantly flying up to his ear.

"Must be infected" Pete announced "How's that piercing working out for you now?"

"Not now Pete" Sue snapped, moving forward to inspect her sons ear "Oh Jake this is disgusting, you're going to have to get it removed and then go to the doctors"

The teenager bowed his head in embarrassment "Last time I listen to Barney" he grumbled

"Yes, I think that is a very good idea" Pete agreed, turning round to herd Ben and Karen from the doorway so Sue could lead Jake through.

Amidst it all there was a knock on the door.

"Well who the hell is that?" Sue groaned, stopping at the top of the stairs.

"Oh that'll be Mr Wainwright" Karen told her happily "I rang and invited him for dinner after Dad and Ben had gone upstairs"

"Karen!" Pete and Sue cried as the knocking came again.

"I'll get it" the girl sang, skipping down the stairs.

"Forget it" Jake growled, rushing back to his room and slamming the door.

Giggling, Ben rushed down the stairs to fill Karen's teacher in on all the gory details of their brothers infected ear. Leaving Pete and Sue standing helplessly in the upstairs hallway.

"Lock ourselves in the bathroom until Wainwright makes his escape?" Pete suggested, opening the door to his right.

After a pause Sue shrugged and ducked in, quickly followed by her husband before he shut the door behind them.

After nearly 45 minutes, quick footsteps could be heard downstairs, followed by Karen yelling.  
"Don't go Mr Wainwright, I still haven't finished my list of 243 reasons why I don't deserve a detention! We were only on number 82, As a Christian you should know that God would be very disappointed in you for punishing me for having an opinion! Number 83..."

Her voice faded away and Sue leant back against the bath with a sigh.

"This is why parents evening is so painful" Pete groaned, smacking his head on the bathroom wall at the sound of the front door slamming.


End file.
